Monday, September 12, 2005


Every time I keep thinking of starting to write a blog. But whenever I sit down in front of my computer to start tapping on those small keys on the keyboard, I just seem don't to have any patience. I'll have loads of thoughts, loads of views about loads of topics running in arbit Brownian motion in my brain, but I just can't seem to put it down in ink or in print. I look at the keyboard, the mouse, the screen and then before I can remember, I'm trying to save my butt or fragging someone else's butt with a rocket launcher....!!!!
Keeping the stupid computer aside, I'd even thought of jotting down those thoughts on a paper too. But me being a five-point someone, who picks up his pen on just a few special occasions viz. during my exams, to sign somewhere or just to give the lecturer an impression that I'm taking down notes when I'm not...I could possibly have no time to write a blog when I could be better off fragging all over again....
But right now, sitting in this idiotic, irrelevant lecture (cuz he's making no sense of what he's uttering in a language which he claims to be "YENGLISH", filled to the brim with mallu accent), I went down deep into my pit to do some deep thinking and it occurred to my wandering mind, why don't I write a blog right now? It wasn't a bad idea after all as there wasn't any other better job in my life to do at that particular instant. So, picked up my pen, my notepad, placed the tip of my pen on the ruled sheet and thought, what shall I write about? Ok, shall I write about the stupid lecture that's going on? Nah, to boring even to think about it. Even if I tried to fill it with some sarcastic, raunchy, naughty, racist or even gross and black humor, it would be just too bland. Then I thought, shall I write about myself? But then, who can write about themselves without exaggerating. Everyone claims that they are modest, but that's nothing but a over-hyped characteristic feature, an adjective they wanna place when they write about themselves. In short, they think that they're modest when they're not. So I thought against the idea of writing about myself. And even if I wrote, I'd write so much, I don't mean I'd write all the good things and exaggerate some, but I'd also write about all the bad, stupid and nasty stuff which I kinda like and I do. And who wants to get embarrassed or humiliated anyways. Then I thought, shall I write about my friends? Well, not a bad idea, cuz everyone loves to criticize about someone or something behind their backs. I can write whatever I want about them, and they cant do a shit about it. But then, when you say something about someone, you need an audience who agrees with you when you say something nice or laugh with you when you sat something nasty. But since I don't have any audience right now, I thought, it wont be any use writing about someone cause no one will think I'm cool or good at judging people (well, I'm no one to judge people, but WTF, who doesn't).
And then, a lot of other, out of the world topics cropped up in my tiny brain. Music, the stupid relative grade point system, the expanding hole in the ozone layer which is frying up the over-polluted, over-populated home planet, UFO's and people being abducted and to top that, coming back alive to talk about such crap. About reincarnation, that is there is something called as life after death. But I don't see what's the point' Cuz there has to be a death for that life too, so is there any life after THAT death....???? Well, it seems to be a stupid vicious circle which keeps going on and makes no sense (just like this piece of crap I'm writing). About the recently hyped controversy about the Holy Grail, Mary Magdalene and Jesus. Well, I', still in the process of reading about it, so can't say much. About the increasing intensity of internet pornography and porn MMS clips, but me being a desperate 3rd year engineering student, staying in an all boys hostel (hopes of staying in a co-ed hostel...!!!) and studying in a college where the limit of good-looking homo-sapiens of the other sex tends to zero, I don't mind and I'm not complaining until and unless I get those MMS clips asap.....!!
By then I'd realized I hadn't written a single word. The point of contact between my pen and the paper had created a large oculus shaped blot on my notepad and as I admired at the artistic blot I'd made, I faintly heard my name being called. When I glanced at the source, all I could see was an antennae-less Martian staring at me. I could hear it say something in its Martian lingo, "Bwat ju ju mbeen fy memari managmunt?". But I just kept imagining about the zeppelin shaped crop-circle the UFO would have made and who are they gonna abduct next.....??????

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